A Knight's Sorrow

April 25, 2013

To Be or Not To Be

Filed under: Blog — Harlequinn @ 10:44 am
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One of those nights where I’m debating to remain the person that I am, or once again be the monster I once was.

Right now… I am human. Alive. Frail. Easily broken. Easily hurt. At this very second, I am hurt and broken. I’m lost and confused. But yet… being human, means being alive. Having emotions. Knowing joy…

Then there was the monster. It was cold. Callous. Proud. Strong. Emotionless. Emphatic, without being sympathetic. But empty. Alone. I didn’t know joy, because I was incapable of feeling it.

I’ve always hated the monster I once was… but right now, I can’t help admire how beautiful the monster was. How simplistic it was not to feel… how easy it was…

I know to be that again means to be dead inside… but that might be a better alternative to how I feel right now. I’m too old and tired to go through what I’m going through. I’m tired of being the best I can be, but fall short. I’m tired of being the best friend that helps the one person I love deeply time and time again, without question or being asked to help… but yet always ending up in an empty bed.

For once, I want to be the lover, not the friend. To be the prince, and not the knight.

Or I could just be the dragon that sleeps in its cave alone…

April 2, 2013

The Kitten and The Knight

Filed under: Story — Harlequinn @ 2:06 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

A long time ago, in the Land of Lost Toys, wandered a brass knight made of gears and cogs. Though he travelled far and wide, slaying cruel beasts and witches with his alabaster sword, he never found a place to call home. He never knew joy. It was not because he was never offered riches and glory, to which like any good knight, he turned down, but because, like any good knight, he was on a quest.

For, you see, brass knights made of gears and cogs run on clockwork that must be wound every so often, lest their gears stop turning. But many years ago, this knight had his key that wound damaged in a fierce battle against an electric dragon, that snapped his key in half. And now, without a way to fix his key, the knight feared the day his gears would turn no more.

One day on his travels, the clockwork knight stumbled upon a kitten made of the most delicate porcelain, with a copper bow in her hair, weeping by a river. Not one for seeing fair maidens cry, the clockwork knight approached the porcelain kitten and asked what was wrong. Staring up at the knight, the kitten wiped the tears away from her blue eyes, and sniffled as she told the knight her story.

Many years ago, the porcelain kitten was kidnapped by an evil demon that had locked her away in his dark tower, so she could not see the sun and the moon, that she loved so much. But being a resourceful kitten, she found a way to creep out of the tower, so that she could once again see the moon and the stars that lit the night sky. But alas, in her escape, she had fallen and cracked her delicate porcelain skin. Worse still, by the light of the following morning, the cruel demon had once again found her and locked her higher up in his tower.

Every time she was locked away, she found yet another way to escape. But alas, with every escape, her porcelain skin became more damaged and chipped, so that now where her heart should be, was only an empty shard. Latching onto the knight, she wept that she was afraid she was too damaged and broken, and that none could love a porcelain kitten without a heart. That all she had to look forward to, was to see the moon once last time, until the demon came for her once again. Mustering what courage he had, the knight declared that he would protect her from the demon, and so they made camp by the river, snuggled up in each other’s arms. For one night, the knight and the kitten felt complete. Whole. At peace.

When the harsh light of the morning rays fell upon the knight, he realised his arms felt empty. And then it dawned upon him, that the kitten was gone. Stolen. Taken by the demon while they slept. Not one to break his oath, the clockwork knight picked up his sword and marched for the demon’s tower. Through day and night, through ice and rain, the knight did not relent until he found the demon’s frozen tower to the northern lands.

Entering slowly into the tower, the knight hoped to catch the demon sleeping in his foul and fetid dungeon. And while the demon was in the dark and damp dungeon that existed beneath the tower, he was not asleep. Nor was he happy to find this intruder that wish to steal his porcelain kitten away from him. And so, the brass knight and icy demon fought, with sword against claw, until finally the knight was triumphant as the demon lay dead.

With the beast now slain, the knight slowly made his way up the spiralling stairs of the tower until he made his way to the highest room, where the porcelain kitten was kept. Upon seeing the knight open the locked door to her room, the kitten was elated to see her saviour rescue her from the terror of her captor, until she gasped. For the struggle with the demon was one battle too many for the knight’s gears, as they slowly began to creak to a halt. And while the knight wanted to smile, knowing he did one last deed before gears stopped, he fell backwards, down the spiralling stairs until crashing to a halt.

Rushing down the stairs, the kitten wept at what she found. Broken gears and shards of metal lay scattered upon the icy floor. There was no more knight, just fragments of what he was. But being a resourceful and stubborn kitten, she worked hard through the night until she had pieced the knight back together. But without a key to wind his gears, he did not stir or move. Instead he just stared up at the ceiling, cold and unaware.

Sighing a defeated sigh, the kitten picked up the knight’s alabaster sword and laid it upon his chest. But as she did so, she gasped in both joy and sadness. For you see, the shard of alabaster that was the knight’s sword was just the right shape to fill the porcelain kitten’s cracked heart. Now the kitten realised why she had felt complete when she slept in the clockwork knight’s arm that fateful night. While she feared that she would never be whole, he unknowingly had the shard for her heart.

Clutching tightly at the knight’s unmoving form, the kitten wept and wept. For years she had hoped for someone to complete, and now the moment she had found him, she had lost him. Slowly wiping the tears from her eyes, the copper bow from her hair fell to the ground, landing next to the knight’s broken key. Picking up the bow and the key, the kitten was shocked and delighted to find that her bow fit perfectly into the cracks of the key’s broken shaft.

At first, she hesitantly inserted the key into the knight’s heart and turned the key once, until she heard a click and a grind of moving gears. Giggling happily, the kitten enthusiastically turned the key again and again, winding the gears of the knight’s heart until he sat up. Looking down in surprise, the knight saw the kitten’s bow had fixed his broken key, and that she had given him life once again.

As the first rays of the morning light slowly made their way into the tower, the knight and kitten hugged each other tightly, staring lovingly into each other’s eyes. Both of them were now complete. Both of them were now whole. No longer did the kitten need to sneak out to see the night, for now she had her knight. No longer did the knight need to search for his key, for the kitten had opened his heart. They were together now, and forever happy.

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